Because you're worth it (or not)
Deep dive into fashion week phobia
“You’re so lucky to go to fashion weeks”
“Really ?”
Has anyone ever bothered asking me how I felt after four weeks of fashion weeks ? I’ll tell you. Not good.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve tried (with a couple of therapy lessons) to understand why my mood felt so low post fashion weeks.
Is it due to:
the lack of sleep for a whole month ?
the fact you have to mingle and smile every day and every time you meet someone even when you feel low and tired?
the fact I have to keep an eye on my great Tagwalk team, clients but also have to run around like a headless chicken to presentations and shows ?
try and not turn up in leggings and a hoodie and have clean hair 28 days straight, in case I get judged? (although this dry shampoo is my life saviour)
I’m sure some of the above might be a small factor that contributes to all of this but here’s my 2 cents : it’s all because of your worth.
Let me explain to you the basic facts of what goes on behind a fashion show:
when you go to a show, you have a system of rows: first row, second row, third row, fifth row, standing (you don’t have a seat you need to stay up) and so on. When you start in the industry, a standing ticket is like a golden ticket, « you’ve made it in the room » whatever that might mean.
You’re young, you’re new, you look at everything in awe, even though all you can see is the head of a model and no actual clothes.
FYI, brands tend to do standing tickets to fill up the space. But when you’re young and it’s your first shows, filling up the space already feels like a winner.
However, after having started Tagwalk 7 years ago, with now over 2 millions active users who are 82% B2B (that’s a big concentration of fashion folks, kind of like 10 times the Wembley Arena) & users spend an average of 13 minutes per sessions (that’s very long, they must really love fashion!), my worth is still put to the test, every single runway show. I might have the best client pool I could dream of (manifestation I say), I might have the best husband, the best friends, the best flat, yet, my worth still depends on a very shallow factor:
Does a brand and their PRs consider Tagwalk (and therefore me) important enough to actually sit well enough to … see the clothes ?
This seating situation is based on what people assume of your worth, which is totally based on if people like you, if your social media is big enough, and what you can do or bring them as favours. I scratch your back you scratch my back.
I’ve struggled with that feeling because I’ve always felt (and that’s where I’m wrong) that if I was a very tall and skinny and cool influencer or an old journalists that smiles and shares summer time mojitos with PRs, then I would have a better chance at being seated properly than if I had created a legitimate search engine that has million of users and a gold mine of data.
Why? Because influencers = a LOT of brand content and traffic. And actually, I think they’re doing an essential job for the industry. All of my friends are influencers and they’re killing (in a good way) or changing if we want to use a softer verb, how the industry works. Their opinions and posts are more important than a 2 line article in a respected magazine. You might hate this fact, but it’s true, and I think it’s great. (big up to Leia Sfez, Monica Ainley, MV Tiangue & so on)
Between influencers, press and journalists as old as dinosaurs (that PRs don’t dare move to second, third or last row by respect or ‘friendship’) and the new guard of people arriving, how can you navigate through the crazy fashion scheme that is to gain respect and get your worth up
Essentially, I try and remind myself that this is all ridiculous, because, well, who actually cares ? People are dying, some women have no access to education, some cannot afford medication, all in all, this sounds kind of.. futile? Yes it is futile, but this fashion industry is also a 1.7 trillion $ industry (yes, 1.7 trillion$, you’ve read that right) and there are millions of people working this game, every single day. Analysing it and trying to play the game right is quite interesting and very therapeutic.
Last season, I changed the way I worked: I only went to 7 shows (out of 250) and I thoroughly enjoyed every show I went to, regardless of my seating plan. I decided what I wanted to do, where I knew I would feel happy and see great fashion.
I took back control on my narrative. I had absolutely NO fomo (fear of missing out). Hand on heart. Not invited to a dinner? I’d rather watch succession at home.
I would suggest in order to feel good in this fashion industry and mean something:
get a huge audience on social media (and it better be an audience that can flatter a PR so he/she feels important and wants to be mentioned and taggued in your stories)
Try and dress well and be cool
No need to work to hard, no one ever really sees that
Be patient, your time will come
Basically, if I read the 4 points above, I’m f*cked. So here’s my advice:
Know. Your. Worth
Your worth is not based on a seat, or an invitation or anything, really.
Your worth is so much more and until you learn to know your worth, these little fashion details will make you feel inferior.
Your worth should be linked to your friendships (think about all of these fake friendships in this industry: I scratch your back, you scratch my back), your achievements, how you are when you’re facing a storm, do you go to bed at night feeling happy and serene and so much more. I’ve read great books about this, but Untamed by Glennon Doyle is a winner. It kind of gave me that ooomph to stop complaining and start being whole.
I’ve learnt over the last year (so it’s quite recent) to respect who I am and what I’ve created - my worth cannot and will not be dictated by someone else’s opinion and esteem of my work and my person.
Yes to everything you wrote. I can tell I’m really going to enjoy reading your substack!
🖤